Reshuffle Your Deck
April 3, 2019 by Joe Kiedinger
“I didn’t grow up having role models. I grew up having people I didn’t want to be like and seeing situations I’d never want to be in. Not all of us are dealt the right cards, but that doesn’t mean you can’t reshuffle the deck for a better outcome.” Law of Ambition – Unknown
For years, I’ve been studying why I behave like I do and why you behave like you do. What I discovered is quite elementary… literally. Much of our behavior is dictated by childhood programs that have never been discussed, identified or acknowledged. These childhood programs, for most people, are like the author of this quote… unknown.
For example, people who were abandoned by their parents will carry that fear into their marriage and workplace if left undiscovered. They always have a dark cloud following them, or a voice in their head saying, “These people are going to leave you.”
Their behavior may include being overly-controlling at home or work, or job-hopping in the workplace. They would rather leave an employer than the employer leave them. It’s completely irrational, but if not dealt with will lead to dysfunction, strained relationships and heartache.
In a world where depression and anxiety appear to be at an unprecedented rate, it’s time to provide the opportunity to unpack these programs for those we live and work with closely.
I’ve seen counseling programs offered in companies by a full- or part-time, trained coach. We work with companies who bring us in to help key leaders identify their strengths and help them dump beliefs that don’t serve them.
It’s a real epidemic, especially with the advent of social media. Acceptance and affirmation is being sought and judged by the number of “likes” one gets.
Health programs for employees must go beyond physical fitness and include mental health. Most people have the ability to work through it with the right information. It’s comforting and restores their true spirit.
For those of you who can relate to the above quote and have overcome… you’re rare. I call you “Buckers.” Buckers are people who were given a bad set of programs and have turned them around to live a rich life. You are very powerful people. It’s hard to break a cycle of abuse and I applaud you!
ACTION PLAN: Self-awareness is the skill of the 21st century. Get after it. It’s liberating!