Self-Doubt: How to Rebuild Your Confidence
Wednesday, November 9, 2022 - Joe Kiedinger
I’m still riding on a high from our October 6th Power Up. It was, well, magical, having leaders from all kinds of industries come together to talk about one hugely important thing we all have in common: leading others.
The event energized me, but also brought to light a lot of very real struggles people are facing every day, like communication issues at work, a lack of direction in how to lead those in their care, and number one concern… self-doubt. That’s why I want to dig deeper into the causes of self-doubt and how to begin rebuilding your confidence.
Where does self-doubt come from?
Much of our programming comes from our childhood years—the expectations placed on us by our caregivers, our life experiences, the examples we witnessed. As my new acquaintance Michele Molitor, guest of our October podcast said, our childhood programming is “whatever our brains decided we needed to do to be safe and feel loved.”
Part of our brain, the amygdala, makes lots of decisions for us each day in an effort to protect us. It means well, but sometimes it makes connections to unrelated moments in our past, causing trouble in our present.
How can I identify my specific area of concern?
In short, you’ll feel it when it hits. When you are clearly feeling anxious, doubting yourself or writing a story that doesn’t exist, stop yourself. Take note of what you’re doing. Step outside of the mental narrative that’s running and take an objective look.
Ask yourself, what specifically am I worried about? Maybe you doubt your own opinions, are afraid to be judged by others, or feel a need to please others. Dedicate some time to sit quietly and think through your childhood years. What happened in your early years that told you needed to doubt yourself?
How do I rebuild?
Once you identify where the bad connection is, you can cut it and begin building healthier connections. How? By seeing your unique strengths and changing your perspective.
We all have an innate need, not even a desire, but an actual need for dignity in our lives. And each person has their own unique formula for what dignifies them. Identify your strengths—what is it that you’re great at and that motivates you? When you, and those in your life, focus on those motivations, you build self-worth.
It’s also important to get after that negative voice in your head that says you’re not enough. That negative voice is not in charge. You don’t need to accept his or her words as truth. Simply acknowledge the thoughts and decide for yourself what is true.
We get after this deeply in our leadership training and coaching. If you need a hand getting started, please feel free to shoot me an email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
ACTION PLAN: Looking for other ways to get started with Prophit Co.? We have a brand new event coming up in January: the Individual Seat Leadership Adventure (1 full day, January 20th). Learn more here!