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Stop Being So Damn Nice… Seriously!

Wednesday, November 11, 2020 - Joe Kiedinger

There’s a real difference between being kind and being nice. What kind of person are you?

A nice person is one who acts in a pleasing, agreeable manner. It’s a behavior highly centered upon what is socially or conventionally accepted—where a “Good morning” from me is expected to have a returned, “Good morning” from you. Nice people want to be perceived as nice.

Whereas a kind person is one who has a genuinely considerate, helpful nature who acts out of compassion and selflessness. Kind people are focused on others and don’t care about how they are perceived. They act out of love.
Let me put it this way, if you are at a dinner function and have ketchup on your face, would you want the person beside you to just nod, smile and pretend it’s not there? Or would you appreciate it if they subtly bring it to your attention? A kind person isn’t afraid to say something to help you save face—every pun intended.

In our Leadership Communication trainings with clients, we teach people to stop being so damn nice. Nice doesn’t help; it’s not honest. Let’s go there with people and be real. Let’s be kind and dump the nice!

JOE KIEDINGER

ACTION PLAN: Pick three areas in your life where you should stop being so damn nice. Is it with your kids? Your spouse? Your boss? It’s time to drop the phoniness and pull out the kindness.